


Headlights on Dark Roads

by Shadowmightwrite17



Category: Love Simon - Fandom, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 13:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15438417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowmightwrite17/pseuds/Shadowmightwrite17
Summary: Just after midnight Simon finds a new creeksecrets Tumblr post about him. At one in the morning he texts Bram, needing someone to talk to, someone to help him. At two in the morning he gets in his car and drives as far away as he can. At three in the morning Bram calls him, asking where he is.Bram comforting Simon through a breakdown over the post and the bullying.





	Headlights on Dark Roads

Streetlights reflected off the murky water on the road, setting the street alive with yellow fire. The streets were deserted as Simon drove endlessly on the empty roads, blasting music louder than his eardrums could reasonably handle, loud enough that he’d hate it if he was in a better mood. He turned a corner too fast, almost losing traction as he skidded through a large puddle that swallowed half the intersection, and drove down a long winding road that ran along the outskirts of Shadycreek. He wasn’t sure where he was going. Away seemed to be the general consensus of his agitated, tired mind.

His phone, on the passenger seat, kept silent. Bram wasn’t answering his texts.

_Simon: I can’t sleep_

_Simon: I can’t stop thinking about the post_

_Simon: will you call me? I need someone to talk to_

_Simon: Bram please just read your texts_

_Simon: I need to get out of the house, I need to leave_

_Simon: Will you drive over and pick me up? I need to get out_

_Simon: I don’t know what to do_

 

Sometime after the last text, which had been sent well past one in the morning with all the rest, Simon gave into the overwhelming need to leave and got into his car.

Curled up at home, struggling not to cry as he read and reread that post over and over again, he felt trapped. It was leave or break down, and Simon just wanted to leave. His keys had never felt so heavy in his hand as he slowly approached his car, the small part of his brain that could manage to be rational telling him this was a bad idea. It was this or nothing, and he started his car and left and he wasn’t looking back.

He wasn’t going to look at that stupid post anymore. He wasn’t going to look at the video posted alongside it anymore. He wasn’t going to wonder when that video was taken or how it was taken or who took it. He wasn’t going to think about it.

_A fag in his natural habitat…_

The caption replayed in his head over and over again, twisting itself into new incarnations every time, finding new ways to torment him with slightly different wording. Every time those words were read back to him by the voice of a new bully until finally the voice he heard saying those words back to him was his own, his own thoughts persecuting him.

The video of him in theatre, practicing a dance routine for their last play _Oliver_. It flickered in his mind, watching himself from the eyes of someone he didn’t know. He heard quiet snickering coming from off camera as they laughed at him from a distance.

Simon wanted to scream at something.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning pale white. His eyes stung and tears pooled in his eyes. The tears slipped down his cheeks and all Simon wanted to do was scream at the world for this.

He pulled over as the streetlights blurred into indistinguishable blurs of yellow, green, and red. He couldn’t drive like this.

The nearest parking lot was the damn Waffle House.

Simon saw Martin and Abby, remembered the few Friday nights he spent there with them, crammed into a yellow vinel booth, watching Martin try to impress Abby as he blackmailed Simon. He could still see himself sitting on Abby’s side of the booth, watching her smile and laugh at Martin’s jokes and wanting to yell at Martin because the only reason they were here was because of the photos on Martin’s phone.

Simon looked at his phone. It was almost three in the morning.

He stepped out of the car, staring at the yellow sign of Waffle House, the windows still smeared with rain and handprints, the florescent lights bright as someone mopped the inside. Simon turned his back, still remembering nights in there.

He couldn’t stay here.

He walked away.

The street was silent, without so much as a breeze. The strange desolate emptiness of the streets followed him, and it felt too quiet for someone who just wanted to scream at something. No cars passed him on the road. The lights blinked green, yellow, and red in rhythmic patterns on empty intersections, directing no one. The windows in stores were dark, the sidewalk clear, the world silent.

Simon stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling the cold of late February on his skin. He wasn’t even wearing a hoodie, just the Elliot Smith shirt Bram had given him a month and a half ago. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, looking for any return on his texts to Bram. Nothing.

He felt incredibly stupid, and he could explain why. He felt desperate, and he felt awful for texting Bram when he was asleep, but Simon needed someone. He needed Bram.

He kept walking, further and further away from his car.

He still saw the video, watching it play on loop in his mind. He still heard the strangers laughing behind the camera.

Simon’s eyes started to water and he swore under his breath, rubbing his eyes.

He didn’t get why they waited so long to post the video. He wondered how often they’d looked at the video after they filmed it and laughed at him. He wondered if the person who posted the video to the blog was the same person who recorded it. Had the video been passed around without his knowledge and then posted by some other stranger later? He didn’t know.

A few more tears rolled down his cheeks, pooling under his jawline and down his neck.

Simon stopped at the corner of the street, the intersection of Main St. and Pineridge Ave. The stoplights were red on Main St. and green on Pineridge Ave. He watched the green turn yellow and then red, and the red turn green. He didn’t know what about it made him feel so lonely, standing on the empty intersection as lights ticked off and changed colors for cars that never came. He stood at the corner for a long time before he decided to sit down on the curb, his feet stretching over the water in the gutter from today’s rain. He curled his arms around him as the cold air numbed his skin, and Simon watched the lights continue to change in even, rhythmic patterns. Green, yellow, red. Red, green, yellow, red.

His phone gave out a low ring. Simon almost jumped and pulled his phone from his pocket, staring at the bright screen.

Bram.

He slowly pressed the accept call button.

“Bram,” Simon whispered, voice cracking.

“Simon, are you still at home? I’m coming to get you,” Bram spoke, his tone determined.

Simon stared at the ground. “I already left,” He admitted.

“Where are you? I’ll be right there,” Bram replied.

Simon sniffled. “Um, Main St. and Pineridge Ave.” He answered. He rubbed his palm across his cheek, sniffling again. “I’m at the intersection.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in ten,” Bram told him.

“Okay,” Simon murmured. “I’ll see you then.”

Simon hung up even though he wanted nothing more than to hear Bram’s voice, but he wouldn’t let Bram use his phone while he was driving. He pressed his knees to his chest, curling up tighter against the cold air. He sat there, waiting.

Simon watched the headlights off in the distance on Pineridge Ave. grow closer and closer as the car sped. Simon prayed it was Bram. Please, let it be Bram.

It had barely been five minutes though, it couldn’t be Bram.

The car reached the intersection, its headlights bright on Simon’s eyes. The driver turned left, towards the corner Simon was sitting next to, and passed him for a moment before slowing down and parking on the side of the road.

Simon made himself stand, looking at the car.

Bram got out of the car, turning and running to Simon. He pulled Simon into a tight hug the second he was within reach.

Simon buried his face into the collar of Bram’s coat, holding onto Bram. Bram held Simon there, letting Simon cry for a moment.

“I’m here,” Bram whispered into Simon’s ear, his fingers combing through Simon’s hair.

“Thank you,” Simon whispered.

“You’re freezing,” Bram mumbled, his fingers brushing over the chilled skin of Simon’s arm. “I have one of your hoodies.”

He pulled away, but his hand grabbed hold of Simon’s, gently pulling him towards his car. Simon followed, rubbing half-dried tears from his cheeks. Opening the backseat of his car, Bram reached in and pulled out a red hoodie Simon had left there a few days ago. Simon put it on quickly, huddling in it. He didn’t realize how cold he was.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Bram asked.

Simon shook his head. Bram nodded and stepped forward, hugging Simon.

“Did you see the post?” Simon asked him.

“What post?” Bram asked.

Simon pulled away and pulled out his phone. He went to the stupid Tumblr page and scrolled down to its most recent post. He handed Bram his phone and sat down on the curb next to the car. Bram joined him, staring at Simon’s phone.

“There’s a video,” Simon mumbled, staring at the ground.

Bram nodded, but he didn’t play the video. Instead he reached over and put his arms around Simon, holding him close.

“I’m sorry people are awful,” Bram whispered.

Simon curled into him, tucking his head along Bram’s shoulder, under his chin. Simon shook for a moment before crying. Choked, muffled sobs as he held onto Bram. Bram wrapped his arm under Simon’s knees and pulled them over his own legs, bringing them closer together. Simon just curled tighter into the space, finding refuge in Bram.

“I hate that word,” Simon whispered.

“I know, I do too,” Bram whispered back.

“It’s like I can’t escape that stupid Tumblr page,” Simon cried. “First Martin, and now them. How many times to I have to see my name on that damn blog? I hate this! I freaking hate this!”

Simon felt Bram hold him tighter. Another broken sob erupted in Simon’s chest.

 “Why is it like this?” Simon asked softly between broken sobs.

“I don’t know,” Bram admitted. “I don’t know what goes on in people’s minds when they do things like that.”

Simon nodded, sniffling.

“What I do know is that it isn’t always going to be like this. We’re going to get out of here. High school won’t stay with us forever. We’re going to get out of here and find someplace safe and kinder, and we’re going to be happy and free.” Bram told him, a promise in his voice.

“It’s so far away though,” Simon murmured.

“A year and a half feels like a long time, but there’s the rest of our lives after that, and the rest of our lives are going to be amazing,” Bram told him. “And every day between now and then is going to get better, I promise. Tomorrow will always be better.”

Simon was quiet for a long time, holding onto Bram. “Okay,” He whispered softly, looking up at Bram.

Bram gently touched his hands to Simon’s cheeks, brushing away tears with his thumbs. Simon gave him a weak smile that was full of nothing but love. Together, they leaned in and kissed each other softly.

After a long moment, Simon pulled away to look up at Bram. “Together?” He asked softly.

“Together,” Bram promised.

* * *

 

_I never knew anybody 'till I knew you_

_I never knew anybody 'till I knew you_

_And I know when it rains, oh, it pours_

_And I know I was born to be yours_

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for the two song references. Snow Patrol's my favorite band, and the song title "Headlights on Dark Roads" was really close to my original story title and applied to the sort of theme I gave this story, so I went with that instead. And I just heard Imagine Dragons' new song "Born to Be Yours" today, so they also get a mention at the end.
> 
> Everyone has been so amazingly supportive of my writing for this fandom and it's so wonderful and so kind. Especially after my last fanfic, the love and support you showed for my Soulmate AU with Bram being a trans man was so kind and helped me through a very stressful weekend, and I'm so thankful to all of you. Your support makes it so much easier to keep going with writing.


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